I’m not very good at journaling. It’s one of those things I really like the idea of, but can never seem to keep up with. I’ve probably started 20 journals in my life that each have between four and ten entries. At this point, I think it’s fair to say that I have failed at journaling. However, there was one time where one of those rare entries came back to help me and caused me to make an important change.

First of all, it’s ridiculous that I’m old enough to remember when that song was first released. It was 1987 and my mom took me to Target to do some shopping. As we wandered past the music section of the store, there it was… Michael Jackson’s new album, Bad. I listened to that cassette tape, and specifically the song “Man in the Mirror,” over and over and over again. Even as a kid, I remember thinking, “I want to look in the mirror and make changes!”

Back in 2004, I was invited to attend a leadership conference where Patrick Lencioni, author of The Five Dysfunctions of a Team, was speaking. As I listened to him give a talk based on his best-selling book, I was struck by something he said. He told us that the absence of trust is the number one dysfunction found in teams. Honestly, this wasn’t much of a surprise. However, he went on to say that trust is so incredibly valuable in teams (and in relationships in general) that if you’re 80% of the way to having trust on your team but still have a long way to go in the other four areas of dysfunction, you should keep working on building trust before moving on. It’s that important!

Oh, hindsight! Why are you always 20/20? It’s one of life’s greatest frustrations. We look back with such clarity on events and situations that seemed cloudy and confusing when we were in their midst. Somehow, getting distance from a situation helps us see things clearly. This is not particularly helpful when we’re in the middle of the storm.

This one’s a little personal. (I’ll try not to get too serious though!)

Over the last few years, I’ve learned a lot about boundaries. As I’ve mentioned before, finding balance is essential in life. Extremes, generally speaking, are not good. However, for whatever reason, it too me a long time to learn this lesson when it came to putting up healthy boundaries in my life. 

Kids crack me up! I love watching young kids begin to develop their own little personalities. It’s fascinating (and often hilarious) to watch them test boundaries, try new things, explore concepts and generally just try to understand the world they live in. They’re so curious and, ultimately, they just want to know more! In fact, their favorite question to ask (constantly) is “why?”

I don’t care what you say, magicians are cool. Well, if they’re really good at what they do, magicians are cool. If you know anything about magic, you know that most magic is based on misdirection. (You probably also know that magicians don’t do tricks, they create illusions. A trick is… well, it’s something else.*) In any case, magicians are geniuses at taking our focus away from the thing they don’t want us to see without us even knowing it. Bad leaders can do the same thing. The difference is, once you realize it, it’s a lot easier to see what they’re really up to!

Sometimes I feel like I’m on a lifelong quest to bring about better situational awareness. Generally speaking, I don’t think this is a skill that we (you know… humans) are great at. Tell me if this scenario sounds familiar. (I won’t hear you when you tell me this… but that’s okay. Just pretend and tell me anyway.) 

Sometimes, people suck. Sometimes, leaders are selfish. Sometimes, motives are impure. Sometimes, people don’t see you for what you’re worth. Sometimes things aren’t fair. I hate to be the one to break this harsh bit of news, but that’s just the way it is. You’re not special just because you found yourself in a bad situation. (I mean, I’m sure you are special... just for other reasons.) It happens to all of us at one point or another. That’s life! So, what do we do about it?

It’s pretty amazing how one day we can be SO sure of something and then the next, everything can change. Of course, it usually doesn’t happen in one big “I am your father” moment. Instead, it tends to happen slowly over time as we learn new things and gain new perspectives. Suddenly, we realize that the things we absolutely knew to be true, might not be.

Here’s a simple little exercise I’ve learned to do regularly to see whether or not I belong in a particular organization or relationship. Look around. (If you're in an office while you’re reading this and you can actually see other people in ...

Remember when you were a kid and you used to play make-believe? (Or maybe it was just last week… either way, still applies!) For me and Brett Chandler and Eric Edwards (my two best, childhood friends), this ranged from imagining our bikes ...

“I don’t know why I go to extremes. Too high or too low there ain’t no in-betweens.”

Way, way back in the 1900s, Billy Joel wrote and sang those words that I am now showing my age by quoting. I feel like a lot of people can relate though. And while Billy may not ...